Thursday, May 26, 2005

Order 66

Warning: Spoilers for Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of The Sith ahead.

a. To give aid or information to an enemy of; commit treason against: betray one's country.
b. To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance: betrayed Christ to the Romans. (source:

Betrayal. One of the most terrible things man could commit. Betrayal, no matter how 'noble' one's intention or justification was, is always wrong. No matter what the magnitude of the betrayal is, whether it leads to the annihilation of the Jedi or is just a lie, an act of betrayal is an act of betrayal is an act of betrayal.

What makes betrayal so vile? It is because it is trust broken- deliberately, voluntarily, consciously.

Trapped in a dreadful situation, Anakin was forced to make a difficult decision. Where should his allegiance go? Which is more important- the greater good of mankind, or him not losing his wife to death but ultimately betraying the Light?

Padme: "Oh Anakin, what are you going to do?"

You'd think it'd be a no-brainer. Yes, very difficult situation, I know. It is never easy to give up something one loves dearly. A great sacrifice, it is. But this is where a person is tested, to see what he/she is made of.

Self vs being Selfless- a constant struggle within all men.

Anakin was weak. And it didn't help that he was effectively being brainwashed by Darth Sidious. But I do not despise Anakin for turning evil per se. I despise his character because he ALLOWED himself to be corrupted. He chose to walk into the Dark Side for his own selfish purpose despite the terrible price. The last straw was when he wanted to kill Obi-Wan, his sifu. That was just too much.

This is Star Wars. In real life, evil does not make itself as obvious and hideous as Darth Sidious. It works in a much subtler manner. Our inner demons whisper suggestions into our ears. Their names? Pride. Arrogance. Jealousy. Fear. Their voices could never be hushed. But there is always a choice- whether to listen and heed their cowardly input, or to just ignore them and remain strong and true.

I pray that should I find myself to be in a difficult situation in the future, God would grant me the strength and wisdom to do the right thing, no matter difficult or unpopular the decision may be. So that difficult situation may never involve the greater good of the planet or galaxy... but you know what I mean. ;P

Darth Vader- what a lame-ass sap.

May the Force be with you.

P/S- As you can tell, I'm totally into the movie. That's why I got a bit emo and carried away, hehe. :P

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Road Map

Many directions, many destinations. Everyday, every moment, we choose just one.

The what-could-have-beens and what-should-have-beens... the ifs and maybes.

Do parallel universes exist, with all the other possibilities taking place? Do you sometimes wonder if you could visit that place and find out?

We plan the road map of our lives so carefully but inevitably, we make detours. Some are good for the soul, lovely sights and great people. But sometimes you lose control and end up fallen in a ditch. And ahh, the ditches... it ain't fun getting all muddy with cuts and bruises all over. Then you have to get up, get rid of whatever you're riding on and just plod on with your own 2 feet. But surprise, surprise... you realise that sometimes all you really needed was a nice, good walk. Although, when you're exhausted and the road ahead seems so long, walking would be the last thing on your mind...

How do I know if I'm moving on the right path?

The what-could-have-beens and what-should-have-beens... the ifs and maybes.

I just gotta trust God that I'm travelling on the right path towards the ultimate destination, detours notwithstanding.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Ass Spanking-tastic!

This post is especially dedicated to members of my team, Queers & Co.* - comprising of Capt'n KLin aka Jackie*, Prem aka Karen*, SNing, Ade Teo and our keeper, The Roommate (TR). We participated in the inter-batch (sort of) Futsal tournament last friday night, and it was fun! Exhausting... but fun, nevertheless.

Initially, it didn't look like it, though. The tourney took off a jittery start for our team. Jackie was exhausted and feeling nauseated. Karen did not eat for the whole day and was suffering from a migraine. I was in a foul mood because of the stupid Renal Assessment. TR was late, which added to our nervousness. We were nervous because... there were 6 matches to play and we have only 1 substitute (not by choice). And we weren't exactly in the best shape to play...

1st Match: Queers & Co. vs Malakeing Suso (Sem 4)
This team is hot. They look oh-so-hot in their pink tops and shorts. And they play pretty hot too.

The match was quite slow (our first matches are always slow. SIGH.) and we found ourselves defending more than we like. But of course, with the onslaught of Naddy and Priya as strikers of Malakeing Suso, we have to defend a lot. But we could have attacked more as well. Jackie scored 1 goal and the ass-spanking* began.

Result: 1-0 (Queers & Co. won)

2nd Match: Queers & Co. vs Kaki Bangku (Sem 4)
Kaki Bangku?!?!? What a misnomer. With Sunila the Gila Striker in the team and other good players like Shuj and Grace, this team can definitely play futsal and score lotsa goals too! But I am happy that we managed to hold our own.

Result: 1-1

3rd match: Queers & Co. vs Transformers (Sem 1)
We weren't sure of how this match would turn out. This wasn't Sem 1's best team but we must never underestimate our opponents. And Jackie had to sit this match out 'cos she was just too tired and we had 4 more matches to go. This lead to a change in positioning- I took over Jackie's place as Centre while Ade played defence in my place.

Well, this match is special to me because I scored my very first goal in an official tournament. :) SNing scored the first goal. Second goal was from yours truly. I never expected to score a goal, really. But I kept on running forward because I couldn't find the opportunity to pass to SNing. When I got close enough to the goal, I could hear the people on the sidelines yelling, "Take a shot! Take a shot!" and I thought, "Oh well, what the heck." And it went in. Yay!!

It was nice getting my ass-spanked, hehe. :D

Okay, enough of that. Got a bit carried away there, hehehehe... I'll stop.

Result: 2-0 (Queers & Co. won)

There's a break before the 4th match and I think it was a wee bit too long and I didn't warm-up properly... which lead me to suffer from horrible cramps on both sides of my calves. :(

4th Match: Queers & Co. vs Ghostbusters (Sem 1)
Cramps were alright for a while but not for long. Played for a mere 2 minutes (I think) before my calf muscles just seized up as I was running in the court. Ade had to come in. My calves were spasmodic. It was awful.

It didn't help that this was one of the strongest teams in the tourney. They scored a goal and we didn't get to equalise. :(

Result: 0-1 (Ghostbusters won)

5th Match: Queers & Co. vs Sem 2 Team 2
I only lasted for a minute plus for this match. :( It's very frustrating to watch from the sidelines, knowing that each one was exhausted and yet not being able to go in to substitute any of them. I felt so helpless. Stupid cramps.

As for the match itself, I have only this to say: In the futsal court, futsal is the game that should be played, NOT rugby/basketball. 'Nuff said.

Result: 1-1

6th Match: Queers & Co. vs Sem 2 Team 1
Couldn't play at all. I couldn't even walk properly. Frustration was mounting. After the demoralising game of pseudo-rugby (which we could have won if only Jackie was luckier with her shots and everyone was not too damn exhausted), we really wanted to win this. Because we knew we could. But could our bodies take it?

Well, this was what happened. Not only did they hang in there, not one, not two, but THREE goals were scored! We creamed them! Woo hoo! A perfect end to our tourney (although TR getting yellow-carded for coming out of the D to celebrate one of Jackie's goals was plain ridiculous. Geez.).

I feel incredibly proud of our team. Despite being exhausted, our will to win kept us going(or them rather, since my will could not surpass the pain in my legs) and guess what, we got 3rd placing... through sheer perseverance. 'Kaki Bangku' was second and the champion was 'Transformers.'

Remember, 4th game onwards, there was no substitution whatsoever as I was out. Jackie was exhausted. So was Karen and her migraine. SNing developed a blister in the second game. Ade doesn't even play futsal regularly. As for TR, well, she was good, as usual, but one keeper does not make the whole team! So, to get 3rd placing despite these odds is not bad. Not bad at all. In fact,

"It's disgusting!"* SPANK!*

This is my fellowship.

Signing off,
YkK aka Will*

*inspired by our current obsession with the American TV sitcom, Will & Grace.

P/S- Congrats to team Makende getting a respectable 2nd place in the guys' futsal tourney the next day. It was a close game but most importantly you guys showed how futsal should be played- with true skills. As for Remind The Gab team, next time, finish up your homework earlier so that you'll get enough sleep and not end up exhausted the next day! :P

Monday, May 16, 2005

Blogging Blues

I noticed this particular trend in blogging... and it disturbs me. Well, not really disturbs me per se, but rather made me question the significance and purpose of this blog of mine.

Why do I blog in the first place?

In blogging, what do I hope to achieve?

This blog started off as something simple, ie a way to keep in touch w/ friends, but it has evolved into something much more personal than that, involving factors other than self-indulgence.

Okay, some might think that I should lighten up. After all, it's JUST blogging.

Is it?

Screw it. I'm gonna shove these thoughts aside and concentrate on the Renal Assessment on friday. After that I'll have all the time in the world to contemplate the meaning of life, this blog, claypot chicken rice, Star Wars...


Sunday, May 01, 2005


"Guess who's back
Back again."
- Eminem, Without Me

Hi everybody!! raKoon's back and boy, is it great to be blogging again! I miss talking about myself and my life on this blog, haha! My gosh, it's been more than month since the last update... many things have happened in between. Unfortunately, they are kinda out-dated now so, erm, too bad lah. Endocrine system was alright but Reproductive system was really packed. Sex is MUCH more than "Wham! Bam! Thank you, ma'am!". The consequences of sex, especially the STDs... not fun at all. And now Renal system has started, which is another crazy packed course. Hopefully I've learned to adapt to the new schedule and know how to make more time for myself and blogging.

Speaking of comebacks, I'm not the only one who's making a return. Anybody watched the San Marino GP in Imola last weekend? Omigosh, it was one heck of a fantastic race. For those who don't know the significance of that race, this is it: Schumi and Ferrari are back. And wow, amidst the whole stress of studying for the Repro test, the race was definitely something that truly lifted my spirits.

Actually, when the new season started, I wasn't too keen on the new rules. No tyre changing at all? I didn't like that rule because it means that the drivers weren't going all out to race and challenge for racing positions- they have to consider conserving their tyres. And Bridgestone (tyre manufacturer for Ferrari) was not up to par as compared to Michelin. It was very disheartening to watch Ferrari underperform. Another rule change that I didn't like was changing the 2nd qualifying session from Saturday afternoon to Sunday morning. I prefer to know who's on pole the day before so that there'll be adequate time for the excitement and speculation to build up. But I guess it has its pros. I mean, the teams would really have to be on their toes and use think quickly about the best strategy possible to use for the race just only HOURS later, and that I like. :)

But the San Marino GP was just awesome. It was the first time in a while since I really got excited watching a race. Kimi was on pole position, and things looked so promising in the beginning but nooo, his car just had to suffer from mechanical failure. What a terrible shame. McLaren must buck up and sort out their reliability issues because it is unfair towards Kimi. Tough luck.

But Schumi and his F2005 car was simply... awesome! Marvellous! Breathtaking! His performance was just astonishing, yet not astonishing at the same time, because it was quality Michael Schumacher performance that you would expect. He delivered it totally. He brought it on, y'all. Too bad about the mistake he made during qualifying which costed him his grid position. He climbed from 13th place to second. The car was in a class of its own- 2 seconds faster than every other car on the track.

I was on the edge of my seat towards the end of the race when he was catching up with Button and Alonso. When Button made a mistake encountering the backmarkers, Schumi just swooped in and overtook him and he was charging all the way. I was squealing, urging loudly to the television screen, shouting encouragements to Schumi (even though I know he won't be able to hear me) during the last few laps when he was less than a second away from Alonso's car- I couldn't stop myself, it was just too exciting! Oh my, he was so close to winning the race that afternoon. So, so close.

Props to Alonso for holding his nerve when it truly mattered. It's not easy maintaing focus and composure while being under tremendous pressure from a driver as experienced as Schumi. Schumi tried every trick in the book to get Alonso to make a mistake but no such luck. Schumi did not win, but it was a fantastic race which I enjoyed thoroughly.

One thing about Alonso though, is that I wish he would be more gracious about his win. This race was a hat-trick for him this season so far, but I noticed that he only mentioned the team in two lines. Whereas Schumi, he was really thanking the team and you could see that he's truly sincere and recognising the team's efforts, because hey, it's a really a team sport. Without the engineers, he won't be able to drive a competitive car. And it's not just for this GP. He ALWAYS thanks his team for every race that he won and that's one of the many qualities I admire about him. Maybe Alonso is still young and a bit fresh and arrogant. But I noticed that Button has also taken a page out of Schumi's book, acknowledging BAR's efforts everytime he got onto the podium, since last year, and that's great.

Michael Schumacher. What a remarkable character. I totally respect this man. He drove with much passion, determination, will, power and aggression... I was reminded of the reasons why he is my favourite F1 driver and an important role model in my life... and I've fallen in love with him all over again. Sighs. :P

Alonso may have rained on Schumi's and Ferrari's parade on their homeground... well, I'm looking forward to see Schumi ruin Alonso's homecoming party in Barcelona this upcoming weekend. Because based on the demonstrated superiority of the F2005, it could only mean one thing: it's time to win again. ;)

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"Cuz it's my night
No stress, no fights
I'm leavin it all behind."
- Mariah Carey, It's Like That

And that was my motto of the night of the IMU Ball 2005. And the stress before it was pretty high, I'd say. Shopping is supposed to be fun but when you're shopping under the pressure of time constraints and a not-too-big budget, stress is the word of the day(s). Getting the perfect dress, shoes, accesories, all for the sake of looking good for that night is not easy. And then there's the Endocrine test, a mere week before the Ball. It was difficult trying to contain my excitement about the Ball and to focus on studying simultaneously (but thank God things worked out well for me in the end- I did good for Endo. :D).

My conclusion of the Ball? It was perfect. I went with a mission to have a jolly good time and creating memories with my dear friends, and it was a mission accomplished. All the stress and effort were worth it cos we all looked so damn good that night! (kekeke, talk about being perasan to the max. :P) It was fun taking gorgeous pictures together, giggling, laughing, goofing off... just having a great time. The food was better than expected so no complaints in that department!

As for the Post-Ball party, it was exactly how I imagined it to be. Heheh. Heheheh. I came, I partied, and I conked out. :P I dunno about the others but I really enjoyed myself there. It was really fun and liberating to just dance my heart out and not having to worry about perverts cos we're all friends out to have a party. Many crazy, funny things took place. But of course, whatever happened in Room 1226, stays in Room 1226. If you weren't part of the party but you wanna know what happened, too bad. Even the Roomie doesn't get an exclusive. :P

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3 Sekawan

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Table 12

IMU Ball 2005 - definitely a night to remember. :)

"All I wanna do is rock."
- Travis, All I Wanna Do Is Rock

Rock music is invigorating. Rock music is cool. Rock makes you wanna break free and express your individuality. Rock is liberation.

But how much do you really know about rock music? Did you know that rock is actually an evolution of jazz music?

But hey, even if you're not interested in the history of rock music, maybe you might be interested in just rocking out for 2 hours, aways from the stress of lectures and life?

Then come for the...

on 10 May (Tues) at 6.30pm
Seminar Room 3
Entrance fee: only RM1
Brought to you by IMU Choir Club

For only RM1, you not only get to enjoy great music, there's also refreshments served, ie apple pies, so RM1 is a pretty darn good deal! Do come!

Hehehe... I couldn't resist a promo on my blog. This IS my pet project after all, for the Choir Club. The speakers I've invited to come and conduct the workshop are friends of mine whom I know personally, and believe me, they really know their stuff. Shannon Teoh and Jeremy Mahadevan write for NST and are music journalists of some sort so you're not just getting some obssessed rock fans to talk about the music- they have reliable credentials to their name.

So... please come and support this workshop, this baby project of mine. Pweaaase... I promise it would be good. ;)
"You live, you learn."
- Alanis Morissette, You Learn

The past few months, since December until today, have been pretty educational for me. I have learned so much from life. I learned who I was, who I am, who I am not and who I want to be. I still am. Still growing. Plenty of room to learn more. And I have learned to deal with changes and uncertainties where I was left grappling in the dark, trying hard to gain a foothold on any semblance of stability and trying to make sense out of things when they don't.

But the most important lesson I have learned is this: With hope, faith, love, and charity... one can never go wrong in life.

God is great and life is good. :)

Until the next posting, adieu.