Friday, September 14, 2007

Ou Est Home?

Home is where the heart is. The trouble is, my heart is kinda confused. You see, though my family is here and my friends are here in Malaysia, I find myself looking forward to be back in Soton, which is unlike most of my other friends who are currently studying overseas. The noted exception would be Miss Adlina but she's no longer a student and she's a self-confessed Anglophile and willing whore to John Simm and David Tennant. But I get it - 'cos I love John Simm too, though not as much as she does. ;)

Back in Soton, I complain about the lack of American tv. And when I'm here, which channel do I watch most of the time? BBC Entertainment.

Yes, the heart is definitely confused.

But you know what? After weeks of questions mulling through my head, there is a sudden clarity. And it doesn't matter where I'm at. I may not know where home is yet, but I know who I am.

My new theme tune:

Real Girl by Mutya Buena
If I had one chance to
Live my life again
I wouldn't make no changes
Now or way back when (yeah)
And if everything turns out
The way I hope it goes
But I cant wait to find out
What it is that God knows

But I don't wanna think about
What's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day
'Cause it's the only way
To be the best that I can be

I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

And nothing's ever perfect
There's no guarantee
And if I knew the answers
It would put my mind at ease (no)
So I'll just keep on going
The way I've gone so far
And maybe I'll end up
Tryin' to catch a fallin star (yeah)

But I don't wanna think about
What's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day
'Cause it's the only way
To be the best that I can be

I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

Baby this is who I am
Don't need you to understand
'Cause everything is right where it should be
It wont be long til you know about me,
'Cause I don't give a...
Even when I'm out of love
'Cause everythings just how it should be
And it wont be long till you know about me

I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

I know exactly who I am

1 Comments:
At 8:35 AM, Anonymous B said...

I believe in serendipity... I chanced on your blog when searching for zirkus in Deutschland. I am impressed with your spirit... and I encourage you not to allow a bad experience to dampen your sense of adventure.

A few years back I followed one of those synchronistic urges... and ended up running a website for a Turkish/German breakdancer who dances on crutches (having lost the use of his legs to polio at age 1). Not the normal sort of pastime for a middle-aged lady from St Louis, MO. Since I learned to recognize and follow such events, my life has never been dull.

I have made many delightful friends through following these chance encounters. Perhaps we might become penpals, too. I will include a link to my facebook page, in case you would like to respond.

All my best to you,
...B

 

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