Thursday, November 25, 2004

In The Still Of The Night

In the still of the night
I sleep soundly
Then I wake up in the morning.

Occasionally though...

In the still of the night
Weird thoughts traipse through my mind
Farcical parodies
In an altered reality
I laugh out loud
... scaring the crap out of my ex-roommate.

In still of the night
The comfort of the bed eludes me
Exam jitters galore
SAQs, MCQs left unanswered
Anatomy diagrams left blank
... what a nightmare.

In the still of the night
I lie awake thinking
Wondering, yearning
Wistfully wishing, hoping that...
... and I sigh.

In the still of the night
I held you, held you tight
'Cause I love, love you so
Promise I'll never let you go
(eh wait, this the Boyz II Men song... oops. Heheh. :P)

In the still of the night
I sleep soundly

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Once Upon A Time

“Since there exist in this four dimensional structure [space-time] no longer any sections which represent "now" objectively, the concepts of happening and becoming are indeed not completely suspended, but yet complicated. It appears therefore more natural to think of physical reality as a four dimensional existence, instead of, as hitherto, the evolution of a three dimensional existence.” – Albert Einstein

(And here is the part where I go, “Heh?” Which is why I am studying to become a doctor, not an astrophysicist. :P )

I read a letter the other day. It was an interesting letter. It was lying in my drawer, forgotten. It was written by my 15-year-old self, addressed to the 21-year-old YK.

She (YK of ’98) asked me (YK of ’04) how I am, asking how being a 21-year-old is like. Is it how she expected it to be? She wrote about her present situation then. It was so surreal reading it.

In a span of 6 years, many things had taken place. Many things have changed. I was such a budak then. :P

1. Have you ever imagined yesterday that today would be today? That the events of yesterday would somehow, in its weird, unexpected and unpredictable way, lead to today?
2. If you compare now with a(n) year / week / day / hour ago, what would you discover have changed?
3. Are you happy with those changes? What have you learned from them? How had they affect your life?
4. All your past experiences, good and bad... how do you perceive them now? What are their significance to you now?
5. How do you perceive life now?

Time is a very interesting concept. Einstein said that time IS, that it cannot be divided into parts, like the way we conveniently label events as in the Past, Present or Future. He brought up the idea of ‘space-continuum’ in his General Theory of Relativity which gave rise to the possibility of time-traveling. I could only grasp that much of it—the rest I’ll leave for geniuses to ponder upon.

However, I do know that with time, people grow and people learn. That life goes on and wounds do heal. That shitty incidences may actually be blessings in disguise. All it takes is time.

Anyway, I took 3 days off of not studying AT ALL despite knowing that my GI Assessment is on next Monday, just taking time off. It felt as though I went on a 3-week vacation. :) I guess my present concept of time is quite warped. :P

So what am I going to do with the time in my hands now?

Study. (It’s about time! ;P)

Parting quote:
"...the world was made, not in time, but simultaneously with time. For that which is made in time is made both after and before some time - after that which is past, before that which is future. But none could then be past, for there was no creature, by whose movements its duration could be measured. But simultaneously with time the world was made." – St. Augustine

Parting question:

Are you happy with today?

Saturday, November 06, 2004

It's raining... Meow! Wuff!

The rainy season is back. It's weird because back in school when we studied Alam dan Manusia and Geography, November and December are the rainy months for the East Coast, ie Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang. But now I am in med school, KL's joining the wet party too. Interesting. The whole El-Nino/La Nina/whatever Latino name phenomenon is taking place, affecting us all in lil old KL, causing massive traffic jams and landslides. Hmmm.

I like rain. But only when I'm safe and sheltered in school or at home. I love it when it rains really hard, with lightning and thunder. The brighter the lightning, the better. Especially at night. Lightnings are gorgeous, aren't they? So bright, so pretty, lighting up the darkened sky. I sleep more soundly when there's thunder too. :) Only when I'm safe at home though. When stuck at an LRT station... hmmph. I'll be singing a completely different tune. :P

There's something about staying home and watching a good movie on tv on a rainy day. I just watched 'Orange County'. I didn't plan to watch it, but it happened to be on tv. I've watched it for many times already, but I still enjoyed watching it just now. It has a simple plot, but it's funny and has endearing characters. And Colin Hanks (Tom Hanks' son) is cute. :D But basically, I really liked the movie's message: it is the people around you who inspires you, not where you are or where you think you're 'supposed to be'. How true. So far in my 2nd year in this med school, I have been blessed with many supportive individuals whom I call my friends and lecturers, and I am grateful for that. :)

A rainy afternoon also makes a good setting to study. I don't know why, but it has always been like that since I was young. The sound of the rain hitting the awning, the sight of lightning and the sound of howling wind heighten the studying experience. I study better when it rains. Funny, huh?

The rain does not dampen my mood or spirits. In fact, I'm feeling pretty sunny now. :)

"These are the days that bring new meaning
I feel the stillness of the sun and I feel fine."
-- Jamie Cullum, These Are The Days

It's raining men!... NoT! (I wish!, kekeke) But it's still raining anyway... so it's off to Study Land! Toodles! ;P