What Drives You?

Passion. This was Toyota F1 racing team’s tagline (“What drives you? Passion.”). Unfortunately, passion alone was not enough for it to finish races consistently, let alone win GPs. There other factors involved as well, ie bigger budget to improve on the engine technology, better drivers, improved car design, etc. But for a toddler of an F1 racing team, it’s doing pretty alright, I think. At least it’s heading in the right direction, which is towards improvement, unlike McLaren. What a disappointing performance from the team this season in general. Everybody now, heave a big collective sigh for this particular team! SIGH!

However, passion is always a good way to start. Without passion, life would be cold, dreary, and to a certain extent, meaningless. It is the infusion of passion that gives food its flavour, tango its sensuality and romance its allure. Roald Dahl once mentioned in his book My Year, it doesn’t matter where your enthusiasm lies, whether if its collecting stamps or flying airplanes—it embodies who you are and it is your passion that gives you the extra "oomph" in life. Life is no longer just a mere day-to-day routine; you actually have something to look forward to each day.

Just like its symbol, the flames of passion would sizzle out quickly if not sustained. Acquiring passion is the easy part. Maintaining it so it wouldn’t die out or turn into something that would consume and burn the self is another story altogether.

But it is always a good way to start.

Fear. An excellent source of motivation, but unfortunately it is also among the unhealthiest ones. The pharaohs of Egypt, dictators and megalomaniacal office managers use this to push their people to get things done. It IS effective but only for a while. Soon, empires will crumble (due to rebellion) and psycho managers get fired (due to complaints received by the Human Resources Dept) or at least, they die of heart problems by being total control freaks.

It is also isn’t quite healthy for the self. With fear, the stress level shoots up, the body is in excess of adrenaline and under constant strain. Before you know it, you’re falling sick and feeling low pretty often and you don’t know why.

I used to be so afraid of failing my exams. I know, it sounds very silly but it’s true. So I would study a lot to avoid failing.

Imagine how shaken I was when I had my near-failure experience for the CVS Assessment. My itty-bitty heart nearly broke into two when I realised that there was a VERY high probability of me experiencing academic failure for the first time. It was an agonising experience before the results were out, but valuable. Self-doubt is no fun. Yet, at the same time, I acquired a whole new angle of looking at things. There are more to life other than academics.

I passed in the end (I attribute it to divine intervention—thanks, God! :D). And I no longer have this fear of failing. But hey, just because I am no longer afraid of it, it doesn’t mean that I would purposely want to! Instead, I discovered a new source motivation which is far more relaxing and positive:

Inspiration. And I don’t mean it in the breathing sense. What does this word represent to you? William Hung tarnished it by using it as the title of his so-called album. I bet the US government uses his album to torture terrorist suspects into divulging secrets (“Welcome to the Hotel California...” “Stop, PLEASE STOP! I’ll talk!”). Yet despite the pain-inducing noise which he dares call music, he’s still making loads of cash (bugger...). But enough about the not-so-banging dude.

True inspiration is a great feeling, honestly. It envelopes you and you feel calm, content and at peace, with yourself as well as the world. Things become clearer and you have a sense of purpose. You KNOW that every action you take matters, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. You strive to become a better person, to be the best, because you want to, because you KNOW that you have so much potential within yourself that it would be a great waste if you don’t put it to good use. As Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom (of the Opera) sang, it is something that would “make my song take flight.”

That is inspiration, to me.

It could take shape in many forms. It could be certain events or a person. It could be God. It could be anything, really. But once you have found and tapped its source, there’s no turning back. And soon you’ll realise that the inspiration was always within the self. The outside source was merely there to help you appreciate it. A catalyst of some sort, also as a source of strength and comfort when we feel tired and weary. A reminder that we are never truly alone.

Me and the girls in the Futsal team will be playing this Monday against other batches for the school’s cup tournament. Hopefully we’ll do well. One thing’s for sure—we ain’t going down without a fight. ;) Haemotology Assessment is coming up soon, too. And so I shall sing in the shower, “I will survive! I WILL SURVIVE!” to perk myself up. :P

Whatever it is, ‘tis very important to have your heart in the things you do. Otherwise, life would be a huge waste of time.

Follow your bliss.

"Close your eyes; let your spirit start to soar
And you'll live as you've never lived before."
- Music of The Night from The Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber.

. . . . , tu es la source de mon inspiration. Merci.