Slow

Slow is...

... the title of a Kylie song, which I happen to like.

... the speed at which I read (fiction, school textbook). I comfort myself that I sedang menghayati the text, thus understanding what I read better. That's what I tell myself.

... the word I exclaim when a friend doesn't get a joke or gives a delayed response to a joke. All in the name of teasing, no malicious intent whatsoever.

... the speed I pick up new things. Namely, my practical skills.

I was struggling with auscultation and palpation. I just recently managed to locate the apex beat (the most tepi and bawah heartbeat that can be felt, to put it simply) of 5 different people on different occasions ALL BY MYSELF. And that, my friend, is a milestone. Yes, sad but true.  But there is hope yet. My blood pressure taking skills were pathetic when I first learnt how to. Now I'm quite good at it. As for auscultation (listening to the heart sounds), well..... I'm SLOW-ly getting there.

The Partner and I just did 2 days of GP posting. It was a very interesting experience, I must say. We learnt more than we did in the Rabbit-Hole. Probably because we had one-on-one attention from the GP, and he didn't have THAT many patients. Saw this cute 'supplements' on his table...

Cute, leh?

Anyway, he taught us new practical skills, including percussion (detecting abnormalities by listening to the sounds made by finger tapping). I couldn't get it. The Partner got it immediately. Somehow, my wrist action was all wrong. I got it after awhile, but when I got home and tried it on The Guinea-Pig Patient (aka my dad), I got it wrong again. :(

No use having all the medical knowledge if I can't apply them in real-life. As for relating to patients... I know I can talk to them (and I do) but somehow...

I know the exact reason behind my hesitations-- in practicing my practical skills and talking to patients. 'Tis called Lack of Confidence. I hate this crap. The thing is, I know I'll definitely be more confident if I'm good at it. I can only improve if I practice more. But I will practice more on real patients if I have more confidence.

Must break the vicious cycle. Must let go of fear of looking stupid. (if memang stupid, just accept it and learn and try to be more clever, lor... SIGH). Ini semua ego punya pasal. Must not be egoistic.

Most importantly, must work very hard.

Nobody said it was easy.

Where's the grindstone? There goes my hidung mancung... ;P

"I am a slow walker, but I never walk backwards."-- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865); "The Great Emancipator" and sixteenth President of the United States.

The freakin' tortoise won the freakin' race in the end, right?

"PA!!! Faster lie on the couch... be my patient for a while!"